What I Learnt from the Life My Mentor Lived.

I recently lost my supervisor at work who also happened to be my friend, and mentor. We had been working closely together for over a year and we had one of the most seamless working relationships I have ever experienced so far in my work life.

This is the 3rd week since she passed and I thought the crying phase of my grieving process had ended but boyyy was I wrong. Writing this made me feel better, I felt like she would have wanted me to use her life experiences to teach others. She was a brilliant teacher, communicator and free-spirited adventurer. She lived a full life and I hope that after reading this you’ll be inspired to live a life as full as hers. Her name was Faye.

Take Risks that make you leave your comfort zone because they can be worthwhile

Faye always embraced trying new things, going to new places, learning new things, and creating new experiences.

I remember the day she decided to get a cat, it was about half-way through the work day. She had just returned from one of her vacations and then she goes “Ugochi, do you know anywhere I can buy a cat?”. Now I was very confused because I had remembered her telling me she was allergic to cats and dogs, so I just simply asked her, why?

She says something along the lines of when she came back from her trip, she hated that it was to an empty home with no one to welcome her or have missed her so she wants a cat to fill that void. And I absolutely understood that, so that day with another co-worker and I’s help we actually found some kittens up for sale and I remember how excited she was. She knew it was the craziest thing considering she had allergies but she just was ready to go for it before she changed her mind. She went to see the cat that same day right after work. That crazy cat brought her so much joy and although she came

That was one major moment she inspired me, because it takes guts to even admit certain feelings and more guts to find ways to aid or soothe them.

She was a humanitarian that had worked and lived in places like Iraq and Kosovo, going to all these places she did were risks. But Faye was so committed to helping people through her work that she didn’t let those fears get in the way of achieving her purpose. Thank you Faye, for doing that.

Put your best work in every task you do.

Faye was great at her job because when she didn’t know how to do something or didn’t understand it, she went ahead to learn about it until she had a clue on how to make it work. Faye could spend a whole day working on a. set of slide decks till it met her high expectations, I loved that she pushed me when I got comfortable. And I loved that she was constantly pushing herself to be better and out of her comfort zone as well.

So please, take nothing you do for granted, and believe that quality would always trump quantity. From your smallest tasks, to the important tasks always put in your best and produce work you will always be proud of.

Build meaningful connections with people.

I’m writing this because she was able to build a strong and meaningful connection with me, although she is gone now the relationship we had still lives with me.

Faye certainly knew how to communicate clearly and succinctly, she always tried to make sure she understood people and vice versa. She gave people second chances even if their first impression wasn’t the best, she forgave and lived her life with no grudges.

Let’s reach out to people more and not only when we need them, but sometimes to check on them. Listen to people more, and you’ll not have to talk as much. We’re nothing without the social connections we build, when we are gone what we live behind are the connections we’ve made with people, and at the end of the day that’s what truly matters.

Be kind and appreciate those around you.

One thing I absolutely loved about Faye was how she seized every and any opportunity to appreciate the work I did or other people did. If you did a good job Faye would always acknowledge that and even when you didn’t She’ll still guide you with love, without being condescending or making you feel bad about anything. Faye really bolstered my confidence in my work and skills because of her kind and loving nature.

We should appreciate those around us more, over the little things and the big things because feeling appreciated is a very nice feeling. So we should endeavor to make others experience that too. Be more kind, even when there is so much working against you, because a small act of kindness goes a very long way in the lives of other people.

Enjoy life; play as hard as you work.

Faye loved having fun, she laughed a lot at the littlest things and even herself. Faye told me stories from her university days how much fun she had but was still able to ace all her classes and come out with great grades. That’s exactly how she still lived.

From Faye I learnt resting and taking a break is a type of enjoyment (as adults) so we should all do that more, take more naps. Then also work as hard as you can at work, give it your best effort all the time no matter how mundane it is.

Read books, what ever you may like reading, because books feed your soul and also let you learn. As a Nigerians would say “chop life, make life no chop you”, which simply means enjoy life as much as you can, because it will come to an end.

You can do achieve anything as long as you start with a to-do list

Faye was not a quitter, she always sought to find a solution to any problem rather than being overwhelmed by the daunting problem. Her first step to anything was always a to-do list. I remember when we were planning the Hate speech Hackathon, which was one great feat I personally felt we wouldn’t have been able to pull off, but at every obstacle on the way. We just followed our to-do list and the more we crossed off things off it, the more things happened.

Do you want to start that business or get that degree and more? Then a to-do list is a small but intentional way to bring that into reality. It might take you three months to a year to accomplish them but just have it there and keep looking towards crossing it off that list no matter how long it takes.

Faye was a light and I’ll like to always remember. her as that, I looked up to her both professionally and personally. Faye being gone is still a tough thought to reconcile and it’ll always be that as I’m still trying to understand the reason behind this unfortunate event and I may not find it ever.

But on the morning of 24th April, 3 days after I had learnt Faye was gone I had this moment of clarity and my purpose came to me. I wrote it all down at that point and I’ll take that as her talking to me and still guiding me from heaven just as she did while she was here.

One of my new mantras in life is W.W.F.D (What would Faye Do?) because that’s how I choose to keep her memory alive by deciding to live life as wholesomely as she did. Goodbye Faye, till we meet again you’re forever in all our hearts and we’ll always miss you.